I think I have touched on this before in a previous post, but I was thinking about it more recently and thought I’d share.
I’m pretty sure we all experience this at various times in our lives. The feeling that you are drifting apart from people who you once considered to be close friends.
What sparked this rehash of thoughts or perhaps introspection on the subject, was a thread on an expat forum discussing this topic. One post especially. This poster noted that it seemed a lot of times people feel that they are drifting apart from people is because they are no longer at similar points/places in their lives.
I can absolutely see this.
I don’t want to sound like I’m whining or upset anyone in the process of writing and sharing this, but this is pretty accurate to how I feel when I take derby into mind.
When I started with the team almost three years ago, I didn’t know anyone, on the team or otherwise considering I had just moved to this country. I immediately felt very comfortable with everyone. Friendships were formed and since some of those people have moved on from derby, and in doing so, although social media like Facebook keep us connected, that bond has gone, that common ground has evaporated.
I feel that now from the other side. I’m embarking on a new chapter in my life and right now derby doesn’t fit in. I know there have been ways for me to stay connected, but without being at practices, meetings etc everything feels like second hand and often unreliable information. I didn’t and still don’t want to be a link on the Chinese whisper chain.
This has pulled me apart from many people I’d have considered to be close friends. Not to say that efforts to maintain contact have not happened on behalf of both sides, but every connection has been team based and less often on a personal one to one level. The bonding glue of derby has failed.
I still consider these people friends and team mates, but perhaps the title of close friends will be renewed when I return to skating, it just seems like such a shame that we need that common ground to reach that place.
Well that’s the mass of my thoughts on that. Different times in our lives, different journeys, different outlooks.
Nothing gold can stay.