Learning to love…

I’m learning to love my post pregnancy body. Let me preface this by saying I’m not unhappy with how I look, but rather I’m getting used to the way I look now. I’ve always had some self confidence issues with my body, the areas I’ve focused on have changed, but the feelings have always remained the same.

I’ve fluctuated all my life, from being a chubby (overweight) pre teen to a very skinny teenager to my eventual curvy and somewhat toned shape. My most secure self image was when I got married, I was my lowest weight, toned but still curvy. I gained a little weight when I started doing derby which I mainly put down to muscle mass as I was certainly working out more than I’d ever done!

Anyway, I digress. I’ve lost a ton of pregnancy weight in three weeks postpartum and have a clear goal as to where I’d like to be once I am given the all clear to begin exercising again. This is where I am learning to love. Although ultimately my end goal is the weight loss and toning, right now I’m enjoying the roller coaster that is learning my new shape, my new blemishes, creases, folds and pigment changes.

I didn’t get many stretch marks, but those are probably my biggest challenge. Maybe it’s because I’ve always has some pretty noticeable ones, but they have always been behind me (my lower back mainly) and these new ones are prominently on my lower stomach. I get to see them everyday. I’m not ashamed of them, or disgusted, or even trying to hide them. I am however trying to get my head around their permanence, a reminder other than my beautiful child, that I spent nine months with another life growing inside of me. I had been thinking I should try and reduce their visibility, get rid of them, but again, I’ve found myself to be in no rush.

When I have been concerned about them, I’m lucky to have had Curtis by my side and has placed his hands on these lines and repeated the same mantra “You are a tiger who has earned her stripes!”. It may be cheesy, but damn straight I have! I have. This is my amazing female body, I have grown and given birth to a living, breathing human being! It doesn’t get much better than that!

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