God Save The Queen?

Turns out I do have something to write about today. It’s not my usual life/parenting/baby post and hopefully it won’t come across as a rant/moan.

I realized today that the longer I live in America, the more protective I become of my English heritage. I’ve never been patriotic, in fact, I would go as far as saying that I am pretty anti monarchy and whilst I miss my family and friends, I don’t really miss the country. I am also aware that there is something kitschy about using a countries flag/language and emblems. But I find myself becoming very protective of it all.

It began with a local derby team using the Union Jack helmets, I got the reasoning behind using them, it fit in with the teams name/image and it has bothered me less over time. But more recently there is the whole “Keep Calm and Carry On” bandwagon every Tom, Dick and Harry have been manipulating, it’s been done over and over again. There is nothing unique about this, it isn’t even kitschy anymore, it’s just… annoying.

What is almost insulting to me though is the use of the Union Jack. I would’t think of plastering the American flag over everything, I’d think that would come off as very disrespectful, especially from someone who isn’t from here. Am I being over sensitive? Probably.

Don't be a tit head.

Don’t be a tit head.

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Feeling A Little Lost

I have been finding it so hard lately to write. I don’t know if it’s because my mind feels a little chaotic right now, or if it’s because I really don’t have much to say. Anyone who reads this is family or friends and knows what is going on in my life from Facebook or from seeing me, so sometimes rehashing what is already known, seems a little… silly?

Perhaps I need to write less about life, and more about my understanding of social/economical situations… no, that’s not me. Perhaps I should write about motherhood, but if I was doing that, I’d have more posts over at The Bump, and I’m struggling with that right now, draft after draft, hovering over the publish button while I second guess myself.

I’m just feeling a little lost.

Wow, Calvin is 1!

I haven’t updated lately, but wanted to write a letter to Calvin on his first birthday, so here it is.

My precious boy,

What an incredible first year it has been! This day last year began so ordinarily, waking up early on a crisp October morning and heading to the bathroom at 7:30am with plans on returning to bed knowing that there was nothing to do but wait for your arrival. But, in the few short minutes it took me to return to bed, the contractions that told me you were ready to enter this world, were in full swing. I remember the surprise, the elation and the trepidation of getting ready to head to the hospital. In only a few short hours you made your grand entrance, born at 11:30am as the sun shone through the slats of the blinds illuminating the room, like you have illuminated my life.

Those first few weeks together were a roller coaster of middle of the night feedings, a lot of spit up and dirty diapers, but they were countered by hour-long naps against our chests and the joys of watching your bright eyes focusing in on the world around you. The months that followed seem like a blur to me now, tentatively watching you grow, hitting milestones like a champ! You went from first smiles, first laughs, sitting up alone and rolling to and fro, to saying those first words, taking those first steps, leaps and bounds in days rather than weeks. Amazing!

And now, here we are, a whole year gone by and there have been ups and downs, frustrations on both ends, of learning to breastfeed (and we’ve made it to a year and still going strong!), of diapers that didn’t do their job, teething pain and not being able to communicate your wants and needs as clearly as you like. But, we are learning together, you, your father and I.

I am so very proud of you, my intelligent, beautiful child. Your personality dazzles me, so quick to love and to laugh. You are a joker, always waiting to get a laugh and a smile from your audience. You can be shy, but are quick to flash that cheeky grin.

You, Calvin Ender Mettler, are my heartbeat.

Here’s to the fun and excitement of a year gone by and to the birthdays to come! I love you!

Cheeky Monkey!

Cheeky Monkey!