A Vicious Cycle

I get really frustrated with myself sometimes, okay, a lot of the time! Every couple of months I look at second hand roller skates on craigslist, skate trader and other buy/sell/swap sites. I honestly don’t know why, I’m not planning on buying any and all it leads me to is having the same round about conversation about whether I’ll return to derby or not.

It’s always my husband and a friend of ours who I talk to about it and they are probably getting pretty fed up of my flip flopping and to be honest, so am I! I’m not a fish, I need to grow a bigger back bone and move the hell on!

So why does it crop up every few months? I haven’t even watched a bout in probably two years, so much had changed in Roller Derby and in my life. Soon I’ll have a 2 year old and a newborn baby, not exactly the time to start thinking about dipping my toe back into that cesspool.

I do have a fitness goal however, and that’s to lose my pregnancy weight, gain muscle, work on endurance and kick the ass of a Tough Mudder!

In the meantime, I feel like I need a memory wipe of just my involvement in Roller Derby to break me from this stupid cycle! So, if anyone sees these guys, send them my way!


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