Think mommy wars begin when those babes are born? Thing again. From the moment you conceive it feels like you are being judged. Commentary on your choice of baby gear, on your nursery decorations, on your prenatal care and what I find most disturbing, on your birth plan.
Can we drop the B.S of Vaginal vs. Caesarian, Medicated vs. Natural, Hospital vs. Home and start supporting one another? As long as mother and child are healthy and happy, that’s the priority right?
Birth plans are exactly that, plans. And every woman has the right to outline what she wants to happen during labor and delivery, hopefully with the support of her loved ones and the professionals that will be guiding her through it. So here are a few things that really should be addressed.
1. Don’t spread your negative energy over an expectant mothers birth plan because it doesn’t fit your own ideology. Support her or GTFO!
2. Got a horror story about l&d? Keep it to yourself. No one needs to hear about your friend of a friend who’s doctor cut the baby during a c-section. No one.
3. Expectant mother having an elective cesarean? Don’t tell her that she isn’t experiencing “real” birth, or that she is somehow creating a detriment to herself or her child.
4. Pregnant friend taking the natural route? Think she’s going to buckle and get an epidural? Perhaps she will, perhaps she won’t. But your negativity isn’t needed.
5. Anti hospitals but your sister is checking in? Perhaps it’s best you don’t loudly discuss your theories on why hospitals and their staff run the way they do and put unnecessary fear into her mind.
6. Home births not for you? That’s okay, but you don’t need to rain on that expectant mothers parade if her ideal labor is at home, in her bed with her husband and midwife by her side.
What I’m getting at is that everyone has an opinion on birth and that’s cool. But when those opinions start encroaching on the birth plans of these mothers, you aren’t supporting her. What you’re doing it adding to the fear that women shouldn’t have to experience with child birth.
So perhaps next time an expectant mother tells you she is going to have a water birth and you have a negative opinion or horror story creep up inside your mind, how about supporting her in her decision, asking her questions about it and understanding the reasoning behind it? You never know, maybe a different view point will give you the capability to own your next birth or support someone else in your life with their birth plan.
And as the title says, don’t roll your eyes at a pregnant woman. We may be slow moving, but I assure you it doesn’t take much for us to extend a hand and stop those eyeballs from rolling around in your head.