Usually Id say that the brain is a wonderful thing, not just because of its base functions that let us live and move, but because it also lets us imagine and dream. Lately though I am hating what it produces at night. My mind has been taking me to dark, hurtful places. It is using my fears and twisting them into vivid nightmares that I have trouble escaping.
I’m used in some ways to this. When I’ve been stressed in the past I have had sleep paralysis and Hag Syndrome. But nightmares are almost worse, because those images stick with me. When I have sleep paralysis it effects me for a short time and then it’s done, unlike the images that my mind creates.
I won’t describe or go into any detail of these nightmares as I don’t want to rehash or reread them. They have been more frequent though and I hate that. They leave me feeling drained when I wake up and make me want to grab each and every one of my loved ones and check that they are okay.
The brain is cruel. It is not creating the wonderful dreamscapes that I usually love. I wish I could just switch off at night. To have a blank slate, void of dream or nightmare would be better than experiencing the sting that it creates.