It’s hard to remember or rather, remind myself sometimes, that I’m more than just a mom. I’m a wife, sister and an aunt, but I’m also a person with interests, ideas and hobbies (at least before kids) outside of those parameters.
Before having Calvin I played Roller Derby, I played video games, painted, wrote poetry and enjoyed baking, traveling and being outdoors. Since having kids, I stopped playing Roller Derby, stopped playing video games and I can’t remember the last time I picked up a paintbrush or pen that didn’t involve washable finger paints, craft paper and smocks.
It’s not that I’ve lost these desires, or these interests, but rather that my priorities have shifted. If I make it through the day having gotten the kids out of the house, played with them and read to them, I call it good. Recently I started baking again and that has been a lot of fun, and I’ve started back at the gym, which is kind of a result of the baking!
I wouldn’t call baking or the gym “me time”, but they are activities that are reminding me that I’m more than just a mom. I’m more than just a mom on another level as well, I’m a teacher to my children and I’m relearning a lot through teaching them, even if it’s just a refresher course about the solar system.
Having friends who are both working moms and stay at home moms, I’ve been able to see this from a lot of angles, not that I have any better understanding of this feeling, than of my own experience. But it seems that it’s easier to keep your “other” identity when you have a tether to the adult world, aka work. As a stay at home mom, your world becomes your kids and about enriching their days. Neither is right or wrong, they are just different.
I’m not resentful, I’m not negative about my change of pace. But I do know that to be healthy both physically and mentally, I have to find time to do something I enjoy. I’ll be able to do more when the kids are in school, but for now I’ll soak up my time with them and lose myself in the music during Zumba!