Oh America…

There are a few things I tend to try not to discuss with others. One of those things is politics. But in light of the election results last night, here is where I stand.

I posted this on Facebook a little while ago, and I stand by it.

Just going to say this as nicely as I can. If you are voting for Trump, I’m honestly not sure we can be friends. It’s not just about politics at this point. It’s the fundamental principles that this man stands for. He is full of so much hate, so much prejudice and has said and done some truly horrifying things. It’s not about him vs. her. It’s not about where I may stand if I could vote in this election. It’s about the decision to disassociate myself with people who think this man will do great things for this country, when he has done such despicable things to his fellow human beings.

So if you support him, I’m sorry, go ahead and click unfriend.

I have already had a few friends fall by the wayside because of this, and honestly, I’m okay with that. You may read this as hate vs. hate. But to me, it is eliminating people from my life who feel that systematic racism and misogyny are perfectly acceptable for the president of their country. I do not want that kind of negativity around myself or my children.

Today I choose to paste on a smile and be thankful for those in my life who are also standing firm in their beliefs that people of all races, religions, gender and sexual orientation are equal. I will not stand idly by and allow hate speech to be the “norm” in this day and age.

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Homesick

Every once in a while I get homesick. I used to say it wasn’t the country I missed, just the people in it, my mother, my brother, my sisters, their children, and the friends I left behind. But more so lately, I’m missing the country as well. I miss simple things like walking to the corner store, or to the doctors office, getting the train or riding the bus home from town on a wet and windy day.

I miss the architecture, the cobble stone streets, the old cathedrals and the sprawling green countryside, dotted with ancient artifacts. I miss the seaside towns with their old carousels and piers lined with visitors holding their raincoats close to their bodies, but still enjoying their 99’s with flakes and strawberry sauce!

I don’t think I’ll ever live in England again, but I’ll enjoy every visit. I’ll go wherever Curtis goes for work, and England sadly pays their fire fighters pennies, the public servants in general, are treated pretty poorly in comparison to here. Wherever I am with Curtis and the kids, I’m home.

 

And just like that…

I have a four year old.

The brightest, shiniest thing that has happened recently, has been my son’s fourth birthday! I swear I can still smell that familiar yet fading scent of newborn baby when I pull him in close for a hug.

He had a laid back birthday celebration this year. A class party that I made cupcakes for, a new bike from Curtis and I and an afternoon of playing with Mia and his cousins before a visit to Curtis’ parents. 

Calvin has grown so much this past year, both physically and intellectually. He has a keen interest in the universe as a whole, from the planets of the solar system, to questioning the creation and exploration of the tiniest pill bug here on earth. He loves to ask questions, and to give answers he has learnt from exploring and reading. He has a smashing sense of humor, with his favorite joke being “What kind of dog has no tail? A hot dog!”. And he brightens the gloomiest of days with his love and compassion.

Deflated

I haven’t been posting a lot lately, because honestly, I’ve been in quite the negative slump for a while. I don’t always want to write about my problems, my negative attitude and frankly my lack of self love. I wish I had something positive to write at the moment, something truly bright and maybe even uplifting.
I could use some lifting up, myself. 

Whole 30

I started Whole 30 yesterday with my neighbor Molly. We agreed to encourage each other, to check in daily and to cook for one another to keep us on track. I’m one day in and two pounds down (and yes I know I shouldn’t be weighing myself). I’m hoping that with the addition of no dairy and no sugar along with what is my already clean eating diet, I can start seeing real results.

I’m sorry if you are reading this and thinking “Another weight loss post!?”, but this is where I’m at right now. I have a goal in mind and I will achieve it. I’m coming up on my 30th year and I’m not going to enter it with feeling so negatively about myself. 

Awkward…

So how awkward was the video in my last blog post? I can’t even bare to watch it again, it’s so very cringeworthy! I don’t think I will be doing another of those any time soon.

I need to get back to blogging regularly. Everything has been kind of up in the air lately schedule wise, but we are finally settling into a new routine with Calvin starting preschool and an upcoming work schedule change for Curtis. I’m still really lost as to what to do with Mia on the mornings that Calvin is at school, but we are navigating through it together with lots of park time, running errands and snuggles!

I recently bought myself a book of 300 writing prompts, which I almost immediately regretted for the simple fact that by the end of day one, I had removed several pages due to the fact that I hate my hand writing. I cannot look at a page of my own handwriting for long before feeling the need to tear out the page, ball it up and throw it away. Is anyone else like that?

I’m not sure how other bloggers go about planning out their blogs ahead of time, it seems really difficult to me. I have more of a tendency to write from the top of my head whenever I fancy it, otherwise I feel like whatever I write is fake, or forced. I have far too much junk rolling around in my head lately, things that are too dark, too strange to share here. I’m not sure why I am in this particular predicament right now, but I’m hoping it’s just one of those stages in my life that will pass with time and effort to put forward a sunny disposition, or perhaps that in itself is faking it…

Anyway, I will be writing more often, and hopefully words of a positive nature. Now, go forth and be bold, be brave, be beautiful!

The Faces We Wear

A week or so ago, I finally got around to buying some makeup. I usually only wear a little mascara and occasionally, a bit of eyeliner. The older I get the more I feel the need to make more effort in my appearance, so with that in mind, I got a few items to play with. I didn’t spend too much, just a few basics from the e.l.f section of Target.

  • e.l.f BB Cream – Fair
  • e.l.f Blush – Blushing
  • e.l.f Eyeshadow – Plum (Base/Lid/Crease/Line)
  • e.l.f Satin Lipstick – Touch of Pink
  • Up & Up – Super Blender

This morning I pulled back my hair, cleaned my face and gave them all a try… and a full face of makeup, really isn’t for me. I mean, it didn’t look bad, but it didn’t suit me either. I didn’t like that I couldn’t see my freckles anymore, and any shade darker than my actual skin tone in eyeshadow, pretty much makes me look like i’ve been punched in the face, I have such deep set eyes.

I think I will stick to my usual routine. Wash my face, apply moisturizer (and sometimes an SPF if I’m going to be outside a lot), my mascara and if I’m feeling extra, a bit of eyeliner.

It has gotten me past my makeup curiosity, but not the desire for change. So, will it be updating my tattoo’s, getting a new piercing or cutting my hair, that is going to satisfy this itch?