It’s been a while…

I’ve not been in the right frame of mind lately to write much and things have been pretty hectic with moving house and working out a new routine with being further away from our usual amenities.

Holidays as well are always hard for me, which I have mentioned before. I am struggling with some depression, and haven’t been back to see my psychiatrist since the initial visit. Again, things have just been crazy around here!

We are finally moved into our new house though, everything is coming together slowly, but boxes are being emptied and a few days out of the many that have passed since we moved, my laundry pile has only been a small mound rather than its usual colossal mountain. Jinsey is acting his normal self now, he’s eating more, socializing and is completely off of all of his medication, including the anxiety meds which were making him act rather strangely. He will be on a prescription diet for the rest of his life, but it’s a small price to pay for his health and to have a happy cat snuggling up on the bed at night.

Christmas is literally a week away and I feel mostly prepared for it. I don’t cook Christmas dinner so I don’t have that worry on my plate, but I did host dinner for the family this past week. I’ve bought the kids presents apart from a few pairs of pajamas each and I already sent a small box of goodies to England for my mom, last month. Curtis and I don’t buy each other gifts, but he did get me a new jogging stroller so I can start running with Mia more often. I have taken it out for a spin a few times and now I just need to be consistent in my exercising to get the most use out of it!

Really life if just kind of a blur right now, the days are kind of melting into one another and I am hoping that the new year brings with it more clarity, more peace of mind and less anxiety.

However you celebrate this holiday season, I hope that you are not alone. I hope that whatever you do, you have a smile on your face and love in your heart.

Merry Christmas x

Christmas Day

Christmas has certainly changed in my life over the years, with growing up, with getting married, with relocating and with having children. 

When I was a child, whether in England or in Canada, Christmas was always pretty similar, because it brought with it the traditions that my parents had built. Opening presents first thing, a big breakfast cooked by mom, playing with our toys, watching tv and having a huge Christmas lunch, crackers, paper hats and all. The house when we were younger would be decorated with shiny foil streamers from one corner of the living room to the other, Christmas cards hung on thread across the walls. There was always myself, Kylie, mom and dad, and some variation of having John, Robert and Stacey with us. Eat, drink, laugh and fall asleep with full bellies and even fuller hearts! 

 It changed as I grew up, when it was just Kylie and I still living at home, siblings would join us for dinner either Christmas Day or Boxing Day, spending the mornings exchanging presents in one location or the other, the decorations becoming more minimal, but the love and laughter remaining.

When I moved to America, I joined Curtis’ family at Christmas time, either with Curtis or alone if he was working. Our decoration, a tree with a box of ornaments accumulated over the years of Curtis’ life from his Nannie, with a few of my own being added these past few years. I have spent one Christmas away from everyone since being here, I just couldn’t stand to be in the spirit of the holiday, feeling depressed and frustrated, and I hope never to have a Christmas like that again.  

Our first tree didn’t even light up properly but we didn’t care!

 Now Christmas is about creating traditions with Calvin and Mia. Calvin understands Santa now, so there is a renewed energy and excitement surrounding the holidays. Ornaments on the trees are a mixture of Curtis’, mine and the kids. Calvin even made our tree topper this year. We put out cookies and milk for Santa, carrots for the reindeer and had our dinner Christmas Eve because of Curtis having to work. The kids and I spend the day quietly, playing with toys, watching movies and enjoying the unseasonably cool weather for California! We even got to the snow this year and I’m sure we will again before winter over.  

   
So Christmas has changed. It includes Skype chats, international parcel services, split family gatherings and new traditions being made each time. But one thing remains the same, the love.