It really didn’t occur to me before becoming a parent, just how much women tear each other down. I mean, I turn on the laptop or look at my phone and I’m bombarded with articles about the right way to parent, about how motherhood is meant to look and often starting with the dreaded “Dear mom…”. It’s not okay.
Parenting and motherhood are individual experiences. One persons norm, can be completely and utterly different to another persons. So why do we insist on writing articles that tear each other down? Shouldn’t we be creating the “village”? We should be building one another up, being a compassionate and understanding ear to one another when shit gets real. Because motherhood is hard and if you think it’s not, well, as Amy Poehler says “Good for her! Not for me”.
I’ve been torn down by other women, first hand. Grown women passing judgement on someone they know nothing about in order to what? Feel better about themselves? Elevate themselves above the women they are treating so negatively? No. Not for me.
In the same brush stroke, these same women are the ones not only targeting other mothers, but women in general. They fit shame, fat shame, body shame etc. Mind your own business. Be mindful of yourself. And please, don’t sugar coat your objectification and judgment and label it as being “concerned”.
You might be thinking that by writing this, I’m judging these women, and in turn, I’m doing exactly what they are. And I’d challenge you in that I am not tearing these women down, they’ve already lowered themselves to a point that I hope, they can elevate themselves from. I won’t stand idly by and watch others treat anyone with so much disdain, parents, women and men.
I leave you with this quote, some food for thought so to speak.
“You don’t have to knock anyone off their game to win yours. It doesn’t build you up to tear others down.” – Mandy Hale